Tips and Tricks
[EDIT] Tomorrow’s PGMA’s (critically acclaimed) SONA. 24/7 Repression, 7/24 Mobilization: 10am, AS (Palma Hall), UP Diliman. Nope, I won’t be going. And I’m telling you all! I have no classes on Monday, and I’m sticking to it. Kaya nga sabi ko walang pasok kahit may pasok eh, tamad ako pumunta ng school, tapos papupuntahin din naman pala ako para lang umatend ng mob? Wag na uy! [/EDIT]
[EDIT 2] You can take this. Use it however you want. Just make the necessary changes to the grammar and spelling. I’m not really into proofreading my posts. I just thought of making something like this when I talked with Tam a couple of days ago, so credit also goes to her for this, haha. [/EDIT 2]
If you want to have a popular website, follow these tips and tricks to ensure that you get a lot of hits. No animals have been harmed while making this list.
Hand me a bucket, please. Thanks.
The Domain Name
- Buy a domain name with either the word pink or baby (or both) in it. This is a must if you want to attract fellow “web designers.”
- If you really can’t think of any domain name with baby or pink in it, use a Filipino word instead. Make sure that this certain term is an adjective with a negative meaning or connotation. Hell, you’re here, aren’t you?
The Layout
- Your layout should be pink, using all the possible hues and shades of the color. You can also use baby blue if you want.
- Your layout should definitely be cute. Or at least have something which could pass off as cute to others.
- To hell with semantics and valid coding! Use iFrames and colored scrollbars all over the place.
- Make sure your site is not accessible. Use the smallest font size possible. Small is in!
The Blog
- Rant about your love life. Don’t say anything positive about it. Everyone cares about other people’s love lives. Make sure that you come off as the kawawa in the situation so you’d get your visitors’ sympathy.
- Murder the English and the Filipino languages. Use txt or l33t language. You’d sure get a lot of readers who’re (notice the ‘) gonna love you like crazy.
- Post your pictures with you smiling widely, making pa-cute in front of the camera, then whine how ugly you are so that people would have no choice but to disagree with you.
The Content
- Sell layouts using other people’s materials. Have two sets, the coded and the uncoded layouts. Doing this is “cool,” especially when you’re in dire need of money. Then buy another domain.
- Mention your vital status somewhere. Vain people attract vainer people. (Am I right, Tam?)
- You should also mention somewhere that music is your life and that you can’t live without it.
- And don’t forget the copyright notice. Link to What Is Copyright? and Creative Commons websites even if you haven’t read them of their entirety. State that your website has been 100% made by you, and that stealers are not allowed there. What are the internet laws anyway?
The Network
- Make sure that you call everyone your sis, even if others are guys.
- Exchange links with people you find on the web. Make everyone your best friend.
- Leave comments like, “hello sis.. uuy namiss kita ng sobra.. uuy cute naman nitong newlayout mo hehhe, sosyal ang colors…” without reading the blog entry at all.
- Join forums. You should reply to threads done only by the forum administrators, moderators, and top posters.
- Don’t join the debates. You shouldn’t make your own stand about things. You shouldn’t even say anything that goes against what someone thinks. You don’t want to get into trouble with anyone, do you?
*Batu-bato sa langit. Ang tamaan wag magagalit. Ang pikon ay laging talo!
This is a list of foolproof ways of getting yourself into the limelight. I assure you that you’d be popular in no time at all!
Oh, what’s the bucket for? It’s to catch the sarcasm dripping from this post.
Find the tips useful? Donate and I will love you forever.
hala. parang ang bitter bitter naman ng post na ito? pero kung sabagay tama ka kasi napapansin ko nga na marami talagang comments at visitors ang mga site na may baby at pink sa domain names nila. at siempre kulay pink ang site at pixels ang design. haha. wala lang. dati nainis din ako eh, gusto ko nga sila gayahin, kaso wala na din ako pakialam kasi eh anu naman kung hindi pink at hindi cartoons ang layout ko. hehe. kulit mo. relax tayo!!
muahh..
Ayel
22nd July 2006 at 18:34
NYAHAHAHA!! you rock, e-twin!!! i love these!! do you mind if i post it in my visitors page?!?! whoohoo!! of course i have to ask persmission from you first and of course i’ll give you full credit!! it’s just so..GREAT! haha! tips and tricks for your site/blog! nyahaha. napatawa talaga ako dun! bwahaha! i swear, i’ll add to that list of yours when something else comes up! right now, im just letting the list sink in to my thoughts and how they’re so frickin true! sa totoo lang, i HATE pixels. i mean, i used to love them so much and i know they’re hard work but..eh. they’re suddenly too cute and girly for me. ugh. and lately, i’ve been loathing “cute” layouts too. they’re just too..blah. okay, they’re just too girly for me. haha. once in a while, they’re cute to look at. and mixing pixels and the color PINK is too much to look at! it’s like im in candyland or something! lol
about the buhay abroad scenario, my friend didn’t take it seriously. she even laughed it off and thought what a loser that girl is. haha. personally, i thought so too. lol. it’s like she’s so unaware of the problems the filipino community here is facing. but oh well. she apologized so everything’s cool.
but yeah. there was this other guy arguing that non-philippine-born filipinos aren’t proud of their culture of whatever. ARGH. that is NOT true. but whatever. i choose not to believe that because it’s simply not true. ugh.
oh, btw, yea, i kinda DO like him. it’ll probably be my first time seeing someone who isn’t filipino. haha. he’s african american and he’s soooo nice! argh. im a sucker for nice people. lol. but..i dunno. i don’t think i wanna go out with him..i’ve got too many stuffs in my mind right now. i have to tell him that i’d just like to stay friends. haha.
so anyways, tell me if i can borrow your post! whee! you rock, talaga e-twin! we may not have the perfect lives but we try to live it to the fullest, diba?!? hehe!
e-twin
22nd July 2006 at 18:50
just dropping by take care godbless xox mwahhsss
aurea
22nd July 2006 at 21:35
Hehe, wow, nice post!!! Hehee. About the ranting about your love life… Am I guilty of that?! Well, I’m not really ranting about it, just saying everything that’s happening, so I can’t be guilty of that, right? Hehe. Anyways… Take care, Shari!
Chau
22nd July 2006 at 23:36
hi there hehe… applicable ba yang pink pink sa mga lalaki? hekhek… tsayhwe ^_^;;
Seiji
23rd July 2006 at 03:25
LMAO!!!! nice one ate shari…hehehe..astig..ang kulit…well…mahilig ako sa pink na layout kasi..adik ako sa pink..pero buti na lang at wlang “pink” yung domain ko…hehehehe…..ang saya..i really enjoyed this post…
tc po!
Lexy
23rd July 2006 at 05:51
hala! am thinking of registering a new domain name.. pero hindi sya negative eh (positive ako ngayon, iba talaga ang nagagawa ng pag-big! hahahaha!).. i was thinking to register l0ved.com or kada-tau.net whatever! hehehhe…am not really good at domain names….
hmmm i admit im fond of seeing cute layouts..something i couldnt do myself! hahahaha…. kailangan kasi sakin malaki yun blog area para sa google adsense ko.. btw, click ka ha sa google adsense ko and help me generate money (naks!)… hehehehe….
sarap walang pasok bukas.. ako? may trangkaso nga ko ngayon eh pero sige hala computer pa din ng computer.. nagpapakabinat! haaay i cant resist computers.. bwahahhaha! certified addict ata ako hahahah
Ems
23rd July 2006 at 06:25
Hindi ka kaya batuhin ka na nga kamatis at itlog na mga “masa” na niyan, Shari? Haha.
Haha… the no fan of proof-reading. LOL. Nabanggit pa ako? I have yet to see a domain name Rosang(Rosa – Spanish for Pink since there is no Tagalog equivalent for it..hehe) Sanggol. Hehe.
This is such ahhilarious entry, *cough*SIS*cough*. Not for the fainthearted, I guess?
One thing I noticed, they comment of foreign blogs written in English; then they have a blog in Filipino. I mean what’s the point of leaving a nonsensical and unrelated comments if you’re blog is not in the internetional language? Hehe
Tam
23rd July 2006 at 09:06
haha. im not interested to those tricks or trips you posted. gademit for those online blog owners who post all about their lives. they need major attention and those non-sensical comments like, “miss kita sis sobra.” can’t these people comment on the entry instead?
anyway, nice sarcastic post!
Laarni
23rd July 2006 at 10:53
sona na naman ni gloria? kala ko tapos na yun. ako din siguro hindi pupunta pag ganun man lang lol. matutulog na lang ako or kaya maglilinis ng bahay lol.
wahahaha shari this post just made me laugh. it is full of sarcasm.
i’ve never made a cartoon layout siguro ewan ko di lang talaga ako marunong hahaha. natamaan ako dun lol i have a post ranting about my love life lol.
haha pero galing neto shari. pwede din ilagay sa site ko
? siyempre hintayin ko muna reply mo bago ko ilalagay.
nga pala uu mukhang mabait yng gf nng pinsan ko ngayon. iba siya dun sa iba niyang naging gf. tsaka ngayon lang talaga siya nagkaroon ata ng serious relationship lol ang cute hahaha.
tiffany
23rd July 2006 at 11:45
LOLOL. I was laughing my ass off when i read all these. I was thinking “what in the world is Shari thinking? Giving these NOT-GOOD advices”. Then i read your bucket thingy muahaha. I really like the one about giving comments without reading the blog. hate this kind of people!
OOh the Subic Rape case sounds very disgusting yet interesting. I hope the 5 men gets jailed. thank YOU for dumping that info.
michelle
23rd July 2006 at 13:03
ayy shari feeling ko nagtetxt yun pero di ko narereceive kasi may mga ganung sim diba na di nagwowork pag itetext mo isang tao sa ibang bansa.
haha oo natamaan ako dun pero okay lang i dont rant about my love life tas nagpapalabas na ako yng kawawa. pero di ko naman sineryoso yng part na yun hahaha natawa pa nga ako eh lol. oo shari obvious na ata sino tinatamaan mo dun.
pero saan ba nagsimula itong gulong toh? pasensya na kasi masyado na akong huli sa balita. tinamad kasi akong mag blog hop nitong mga nakaraang araw. pero nabasa ko yng previous post mo kaya ako nagtatanong ngayon.
ako tinatamad na ako magpost sa mga forums. okay lang sa akin pag una pero pag tumagal-tagal tinatamad na ako.
tiffany
23rd July 2006 at 14:10
Hi, errr, SIS Shari! (don’t hit me!) Hahaha!
This entry is CLASSIC. Can I put it up in my content area? Will link back.
I agree about the sis thing. I’m not that much into it.
And about the pink layouts thing. Eep. Especially those pixelled ones. I have nothing against those pixelled layouts, but all of them look the same to me!
Lexi
23rd July 2006 at 14:44
hahaha. i reread your post. natatawa talaga ako. haha. kasi ang kulit mo. i felt that way before but then i got a hold on my grip sabi ko, KAYA KO KAHIT HINDI COLOR PINK ANG WEBSITE KO! nyahahaha. kahit nga walang magbasa ayos lang. basta may isa. hahaha. kulit mo.. hahaha. la lang..
basta. cool lang po. mmmuah! hehe.. diko type ang pink.. ewww. hahahaha..
Ayel
24th July 2006 at 00:04
Haha, nice list… although I must admit, that I have been guilty of doing pink layouts before.
Zalette
24th July 2006 at 02:20
lol i like the list.though i have my entries in too.
some of it is ridiculous sad part about though:all of it is what websites are nowadays.
ah well at least we have you to always remind us how ..well you know the word people can be. XD
Risa
24th July 2006 at 05:18
Siguro effects lang ito ni GMA sa iyo. Hehehe
Lynder
24th July 2006 at 07:42
haha true. everyone is into cutesy pink stuffs. i mean its okay. but sometimes pink sites look like each other so much. haha and ung words pa sa blogs ung mga lines na, “syempre kinilig ang lola nyo!” or “ang haba talaga ng hair ko!” or “ang tarush!” lmao!!
isley
24th July 2006 at 08:54
parang alam ko kung saan galing yan lol.
I love Pink pero I don’t like to have a domain name called pink. Before I was about to look for “Pink” websites napunta ako sa di kanais nais na site hahaha ^_^;;
Chette
24th July 2006 at 18:16
uy teka pala sa mga non christians ganyan yung quote nila
Batu-bato sa langit. Ang tamaan wag magagalit. Ang pikon ay laging talo!
Sa mga Christians…
Batu-bato sa langit. Ang tamaan ma-convict sana nang Holy Spirit
hahaha!
Chette
24th July 2006 at 18:18
ahaha! thats F** true SIS! (sis!) haha!
actually, i totally agree with you,. kaya nga i never sell i neither will sell layouts ,. free pwede. hehe!
blogging is basically, you, the layout and you again haha!
if you are sosyal,. mayaman, maganda… SIKAT KA! kahit na ang binablog eh di mo nga alam kung totoo hehe!
well,. la mmo naman, you can be whatever you want to be sa blog.. malay ba? di vah!
okay, im actually, single, jsut kidding!
TC shari! luv yah! muahh
rose
27th July 2006 at 20:20